TAB’S
BLOG: IS BALANCE IN LIFE REALLY POSSIBLE?
October 27,
2014
This blog will be my final thoughts on
balance in life. I don’t think we’ve
come to a final conclusion on whether balance in life is a possibility. But I do think we’ve opened our minds to some
new ways of thinking and looking at situations so they don’t seem so
overwhelming.
I’m personally still on the journey to a
balanced life; but I’m not giving up!
Every day I look for ways to bring peace, order and balance to my
life. However, I don’t let my striving
towards balance stress me out even more.
There are things in life that we can control and things in life that we
can’t control. No matter how organized
you are and no matter what your plan, circumstances that you have no control
over can arise to change “the plan”. We
have to go with the winds of life but always try to steer ourselves back to the
right course.
We are fortunate that we were created human
and that the human brain has amazing potential.
We can actually improve our brain health and longevity by creating new
neural pathways on a daily basis. The
only 2 ways to create new neural pathways is to learn something brand new (like
new ways to control your thoughts!) or to exercise. Yikes!
Back to the exercise thing! I
can’t stress enough the importance of making exercise a non-negotiable part of
your life. J
As part of the balance in life, we all have
to try to learn new things and find new joys in life. We can’t stagnate in the sameness of day to
day life. Our lives have so much
potential for hope and change in ourselves and in those with whom we come into
contact.
“We are not
disturbed by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens to us.”
--Epictetus, Greek
Philosopher
Our thoughts are about the ONLY thing we
actually can control in our lives. I
believe that balance starts in our thoughts.
That is why I have stressed doing a gratitude journal so much. It is hard to be sad and depressed when you
are daily reminding yourself of your blessings.
Our thoughts rule our lives and actions.
We must control and direct them or else we will never be balanced.
“I’ve had a
lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”
--Mark Twain
The Terman Longevity Project demonstrated
that people who worry about things they CAN control but DO NOT worry
about things they cannot control have the best mental AND physical health and longest life
expectancies. Those results are worth
pondering and worth causing us to evaluate every thought that pops into our
heads. Can we control the situation? If no, then why worry? Prayer might be a good option but worry is
not worth the effort!
When a stressor (even if it’s just a worry
or thought) confronts us, follow this four step process recommended by the
Benson-Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine.
This process can help to derail the stress, anxiety, and depression that
come from negative thoughts.
11. STOP. Consciously call a mental “time out.” Tell yourself, “Stop!” This will stop the negative thought cycle in
its tracks and give time to formulate different thoughts.
22. BREATHE. Now, it’s time to
create a relaxation response. Take a few
deep breaths to help you relax. Focus on
the breathing and calm yourself down.
33. REFLECT. Ask yourself the
following questions: “Is this thought or
belief true? Did I jump to a conclusion? What evidence for the thought or belief do I
have? Am I letting negative thoughts
balloon out of proportion? Is there
another, more realistic, way to view the situation? What would be the worst that could
happen? Does it help me to think this
way? What would be the best that could
happen?”
44. CHOOSE. Decide how to deal
with the source of your stress. Ask
yourself the following questions: “How
else can I think about this? What could
I do to cope more effectively with this situation? How could I view this more positively and
more accurately?” These restructuring
thoughts should be practiced until they become automatic when facing stressful
situations.
Doing the above process does not mean ignoring
reality or putting a false happy face on an unpleasant situation. However, it is just as easy to focus on the
positive side of things as it is to focus on the negative side. It is OK to acknowledge a painful truth but
still understand that there may be positive aspects to the bigger picture.
“Gratitude
unlocks the fullness of life. It turns
what we have into enough, and more. It
turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into
a home, a stranger into a friend. It
turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect
timing, and mistakes into important events.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a
vision for tomorrow.”
--Melody Beattie, Author of
Codependent No More
I think that quote sums up perfectly how we
can choose to control our
thoughts and help bring more balance and peace to our lives. I’m still working on my personal balance and
peace and encourage you not to give up! J
Sincerely,
Tabetha L. Smith, FNP-C
Fellow Peace & Balance Seeker
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