Is Balance In Life REALLY Possible? (Installment 4)

TAB’S BLOG:  IS BALANCE IN LIFE REALLY POSSIBLE?

October 27, 2014

This blog will be my final thoughts on balance in life.  I don’t think we’ve come to a final conclusion on whether balance in life is a possibility.  But I do think we’ve opened our minds to some new ways of thinking and looking at situations so they don’t seem so overwhelming.

I’m personally still on the journey to a balanced life; but I’m not giving up!  Every day I look for ways to bring peace, order and balance to my life.  However, I don’t let my striving towards balance stress me out even more.  There are things in life that we can control and things in life that we can’t control.  No matter how organized you are and no matter what your plan, circumstances that you have no control over can arise to change “the plan”.  We have to go with the winds of life but always try to steer ourselves back to the right course.

We are fortunate that we were created human and that the human brain has amazing potential.  We can actually improve our brain health and longevity by creating new neural pathways on a daily basis.  The only 2 ways to create new neural pathways is to learn something brand new (like new ways to control your thoughts!) or to exercise.  Yikes!  Back to the exercise thing!  I can’t stress enough the importance of making exercise a non-negotiable part of your life.  J

As part of the balance in life, we all have to try to learn new things and find new joys in life.  We can’t stagnate in the sameness of day to day life.  Our lives have so much potential for hope and change in ourselves and in those with whom we come into contact.

“We are not disturbed by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens to us.”

--Epictetus, Greek Philosopher

Our thoughts are about the ONLY thing we actually can control in our lives.  I believe that balance starts in our thoughts.  That is why I have stressed doing a gratitude journal so much.  It is hard to be sad and depressed when you are daily reminding yourself of your blessings.  Our thoughts rule our lives and actions.  We must control and direct them or else we will never be balanced.

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.”

--Mark Twain

The Terman Longevity Project demonstrated that people who worry about things they CAN control but DO NOT worry about things they cannot control have the best mental AND physical health and longest life expectancies.  Those results are worth pondering and worth causing us to evaluate every thought that pops into our heads.  Can we control the situation?  If no, then why worry?  Prayer might be a good option but worry is not worth the effort!

When a stressor (even if it’s just a worry or thought) confronts us, follow this four step process recommended by the Benson-Henry Institute for Mind Body Medicine.  This process can help to derail the stress, anxiety, and depression that come from negative thoughts.

11.  STOP.  Consciously call a mental “time out.”  Tell yourself, “Stop!”  This will stop the negative thought cycle in its tracks and give time to formulate different thoughts.

22.  BREATHE.  Now, it’s time to create a relaxation response.  Take a few deep breaths to help you relax.  Focus on the breathing and calm yourself down.

33. REFLECT.  Ask yourself the following questions:  “Is this thought or belief true?  Did I jump to a conclusion?  What evidence for the thought or belief do I have?  Am I letting negative thoughts balloon out of proportion?  Is there another, more realistic, way to view the situation?  What would be the worst that could happen?  Does it help me to think this way?  What would be the best that could happen?”

44.  CHOOSE.  Decide how to deal with the source of your stress.  Ask yourself the following questions:  “How else can I think about this?  What could I do to cope more effectively with this situation?  How could I view this more positively and more accurately?”  These restructuring thoughts should be practiced until they become automatic when facing stressful situations.

Doing the above process does not mean ignoring reality or putting a false happy face on an unpleasant situation.  However, it is just as easy to focus on the positive side of things as it is to focus on the negative side.  It is OK to acknowledge a painful truth but still understand that there may be positive aspects to the bigger picture.

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.  It turns what we have into enough, and more.  It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.  It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.  It turns problems into gifts, failures into success, the unexpected into perfect timing, and mistakes into important events.  Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”

--Melody Beattie, Author of Codependent No More

I think that quote sums up perfectly how we can choose to control our thoughts and help bring more balance and peace to our lives.  I’m still working on my personal balance and peace and encourage you not to give up! J

Sincerely,

Tabetha L. Smith, FNP-C

Fellow Peace & Balance Seeker

IS BALANCE IN LIFE REALLY POSSIBLE? (Installment 3)

TAB’S BLOG:  IS BALANCE IN LIFE REALLY POSSIBLE?

Installment 3

October 20, 2014

Balance?  Really?  Can it be done?  I don’t think it can be accomplished 100% of the time.  I know that it is not possible in my life because circumstances that I have no control over often occur.  But I keep striving for it because it is truly where you feel the best body, soul, and spirit and have a chance at healthy aging.

I went to a conference this past weekend that taught “healthy aging” not “anti-aging” medicine.  I like that phrase – “healthy aging”.  It puts a positive spin on life and health and gives us all hope.  We each have the potential to age in a healthy manner.  I look around at elderly people who are unable to function mentally and physically and do not want that for myself or anyone else.  But, we can’t just hope it doesn’t happen!

I heard Joyce Myers on TV last week.  She asked the question:  Are you a gambler or investor in your health?  Are you trying to improve your health now by making caring for yourself a priority?  Are you eating right (most of the time!), exercising, drinking your water, sleeping, having fun with family and friends?  Are you caring for and maintaining your body so that in the future it will work better and last longer?  Or, are you doing whatever you want to your body with the hopes that you won’t get sick and impaired in the future as you age?

It’s kind of like a car.  If you do your required maintenance, the car will probably never break down on you and last a long time.  But, if you don’t maintain it, the car will not be reliable and get you where you need to go without breaking down.  Our bodies are like that – you have to take care of it and maintain it because you only get one; and, once it’s worn out, you don’t get to trade it in!

I definitely think investing makes more sense than gambling when it comes to your health and life!  I have gambled with my health off and on for many years and am trying to change my path.  The great thing about the human body is that, if you give it what it needs, it can heal and repair itself (for the most part) and change the future.

One part of balance and caring for you is being grateful.  I have recommended it over and over again but I do it one more time:  keep a gratitude journal.  Every single day write down AT LEAST one thing for which you are grateful.  Focusing on the positive keeps your mind and emotions and spirit focused on the positive.  It’s part of caring for and maintaining healthy aging for your soul and spirit.

I’ve been keeping a gratitude journal for years.  Because of keeping this journal, I’ve discovered that, when something negative occurs, I quickly catch myself and stop dwelling on the negative and start thinking about all the things that I have to be grateful for.  This change in focus keeps my spirits up and helps keep me from falling into a depression.

Life is hard and stressful for most people.  I hear so many stories of tragedy and difficulty every day when I see my patients.  Sometimes I wonder how we survive.  However, I know for a fact because I’ve been experiencing it that keeping a gratitude journal and focusing on the positive helps you get through the day and still feel good and not depressed.

“Some people grumble that roses have thorns: I am grateful that thorns have roses.”

--Alphonse Karr, A Tour Round My Garden

Sincerely,

Tabetha L. Smith, FNP-C, Gratitude Enthusiast on My Journey of Health Aging

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Is Balance in Life Really Possible? (Installment 2)

TAB’S BLOG:  IS BALANCE IN LIFE REALLY POSSIBLE?

Installment 2

To continue on balance in life:  I have definitely discovered (the hard way!) that, in life & health, there truly is no quick fix or instant gratification that produces lifelong results.  If you or I want to be healthy, body, soul, & spirit, it will cost us.  It will cost us time, effort, money, and possibly pain & heartache as we face our stuff and deal with it.

We must face and get rid of all of our excuses for not doing what we know will bring us long term Optimal Health.  Every day I hear excuse after excuse for why people can’t be healthy.  “It cost too much.”  “I don’t have enough time.”  “I can’t take that many vitamins.”  “Nobody will help me.”  “My husband doesn’t support me.”  “I’m too tired.”  I personally have used them all except the husband one! J

On my balance journey, I’ve realized the truth:  people make time for what they want to have time for and they have money for what they want to have money for.  When a patient is sitting beside me saying that being healthy costs too much while drinking their Starbucks Latte, flashing their professional manicure/pedicure, using their iPhone and iPad, talking about their recent shopping trip, I find it hard to believe they don’t have enough money. 

The above may sound harsh but it’s a truth I’ve had to deal with myself.  I’ve had to put myself on a budget in order to head towards Optimal Health.  Financial problems are one of the biggest stressors in people’s lives.  I love my luxuries (all of the above are luxuries by the way!), but I’ve had to make a choice not to partake in a Starbucks Latte daily and instead pay a personal chef to cook 7 meals a week for me because I need to spend my time elsewhere right now. 

Daily choices on how we spend our time and money dramatically affect our long term health.  When everything in your life is out of balance, it can be overwhelming just to even think about making a change much less doing it!  But you have to start somewhere.  I started with carving out time in my schedule to daily have a quiet time and to exercise routinely.  That decision meant that I had to get up 30-60 minutes early (4 AM!) in order to accomplish it.  I then started keeping a daily gratitude journal.  Then I put myself on a strict budget that I monitor routinely.  I constantly battle with eating healthy and avoiding stress eating but I keep fighting that fight! And my journey continues!

I’ve been studying business principles recently and learned about Parkinson’s Law.  Parkinson’s Law observes that “work expands to fill the time available for its completion.”  The speaker was talking about how there was no “balance” between family and work.  Family is always first and takes precedence.  He stated that you must schedule your time with family first and not compromise that schedule, and then your work will naturally expand or shrink to fit into whatever time you have left. 

I think this “law” applies in life as well.  What are your priorities in life?  Are these priorities firmly and uncompromisingly fixed into your schedule?  There is one sure fact in health and that is that if you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will.  So, is taking care of your health one of your firmly fixed schedule priorities?  If you set your personal health as one of your schedule priorities, everything else will be forced to fall into line.

I encourage you to take a hard look at your life and schedule and what you are spending your time on.  Figure out your first step towards balance and take it.  Not easy but doable.

“Right now you are one choice away from a new beginning.”

Oprah Winfrey

Sincerely,

Tabetha Smith, FNP-C

Your Fellow Sojourner on the “Daily Choices Matter” Journey